"Last day"

“Today is the last day of an era past.”

 Its not easy to wake up each morning, facing the mirror and asking yourself some foolish looking question....

"Is it my last day?",

Is this the day my relatives will cry hard, very hard for me; is this the day i was born for; have i done all the things i were inteded to do; have i actually conveyed the love to every individual who loves me; have i fulfilled my dreams; have i yet had my true love.........................

..........................Have i been ordinary or extraordinary?

Will i still be doing the same things i have planned to do?

There could be some yes and some no, but after answering each of the questions that pop out in some still corner of my mind, the grey cells  still buzy in search for an answer to some of them and at the end all of this one feels like wandering in a blackhole of thoughts, questions, answers which run at an undetermined speed. And i end up rethinking if it is actually my last day ?

May be yes. Thats what i always think, because i am no spiritualist or a hand reader, i am no nearer to god than most of the people on this holy earth are. This makes me think what should i be doing if this happened to be my last day to make it the fullest. Whenever i find that there are too many nos in my answer i know that i have been wrong somewhere for what i should be doing if today is my last day, and believe me many a times i end up at a good job. The very thought of death removes the all the negatives and ignites what is actually i want. I remember a workshop i attended and i still feel thankful to the person who was conducting it in such a conducive atmosphere. He asked the students sitting, most of them in their early 20s  to close there eyes and concentrate on a point in their mind ( It is very difficult for a person in that age group to actually concentrate for long), so he continued. I saw a person coming towards me as i (all were directed and so did it) was being directed and suddenly i realised it was me in my late 30s. He comes to me and THANKS me for all the decisions that i have taken in my life that has landed him up to such a very confortable place, for the carnal things i avoided despite being attracted to them and then he leaves away, leaving certain unaswered questions with me. "What were those decisions"; "When have i taken them?"; "Were they successful, all of them?". I think that day before i do any work because that encourages me to fight any situation, to start from the beginning.

I guess we all are born to do something, some do it ordinarily and some in a extraordinarily fashion, i always try to end up at an extraordinary answer but always land up with an ordinary solution, but then this always fanticizes me to think of some other solution, the same way Edison had found 1000 ways of how to not make a bulb. There has been always one thing that i like about me and that is i has always hated being at the number two position, it leaves me terrified.

And every night till now, i have found my soul inside my body, still enlightening me from within and preparing for the next day to ask the same questions...

"Is this my last day?"

On my last day,
Will they know that i love them?
Surely they would.
They've all done the best
That they could.

All they need to do,
Is to use their good virtues,
And put them to good use.
They all think this is the start
Of something new,
This is just the continuance,
Of all their previous events.

This new road,
Is really going to be tough.
There's one last thing to do......
Ask myself a question, from my soul,

Have i fulfilled my goals, should i be satisfied.